Sometimes homeschooling families start to feel the pressure of too much overwhelm. It’s easy for things to feel “stale” or not rewarding any more.

Thankfully, the homeschooling lifestyle is particularly well suited to FIXING this problem, and this short article talks about different strategies, including ones I’ve mentioned here, that really help. Take a look!

Remember, just because you get tired and overwhelmed does NOT mean you give up on homeschooling! It means find ways to recharge and refresh. The most valuable characteristic of homeschooling is its flexibility, and the knowledge that education happens for a lifetime – not only until age 18.

Your children will learn the specific skills and techniques they will need for their careers. Your job is to instill in them a love of learning, a knowledge of how to access and evaluate information, and basic math and reading skills to get them through life.

You can’t know what specific knowledge they will need for a future career – so don’t try to “jam in” subjects just for the sake of it! Focus on the tried and true methods, the old standards that NEVER lose relevance. Read the classics. Learn a language. Study history. Observe and experiment in the environment. People who love learning CANNOT be stopped.

Last spring in MA, middle school students were taken to a mosque for a field trip. During that field trip, the students were told that Allah is the one true God.

And by the end, some of the boys joined in the mid-day prayers with the Muslim men.

Is Islam problematic? Maybe not. But is there a balanced presentation provided of Christianity? Of Buddhism? Of Judaism? Of Hinduism?

Is it possible that there is a concerted effort to promote Islam? Should there be a discussion about whether this is a good idea or not?

Again, KNOW exactly what your children are being exposed to. You may agree with it or not, but you MUST know. And you can’t always rely on your child being an accurate reporter on the circumstances – they may not know how to evaluate the information they were presented with in any other way than the way they are TOLD to evaluate it….

….that President Obama will be speaking to school children tomorrow (9/14)?

President Obama

Last year, this event created quite an uproar – why the silence now?

Have you called your school district to see if they will be broadcasting the message? Have you looked to SEE what the message is?

Do you want your children hearing the message?

Are you prepared to TALK to you your children about what he says?

Be INFORMED parents if your children are still in school…..and start making plans TODAY to bring them home for a TRUE education under YOUR watch.

Parenting IS hard. There's no way to avoid this reality.

This may NOT be the news you want to hear. But I hope that it normalizes your experience.

Parents do need breaks from their children at times. Nobody can handle being around ANY other person ALL of the time, and the parent/child relationship is no different.

Sometimes people feel intimidated about homeschooling because of the amount of time they will “have” to spend with their children. You may think to yourself, “What am I going to DO with them?!?!”

Once you ease out of the mentality of them being away from you most of the time, you will find your lifestyle will relax, and your children will find things to do. They will learn how to entertain themselves more, they will discover subjects, hobbies, and activities they really enjoy – perhaps things they never would have discovered without the TIME to explore and expand their activities.

Yes, you will have provide opportunities for this to happen – scheduling play dates, finding extra activities or equipment or classes that allow them to explore new relationships, skills, and talents.

But I can guarantee you that this effort will enhance not only your children’s experiences, but also YOUR relationship with your children. When you watch them take control over their lives, stretching themselves, and integrating INTO the world, it is SO rewarding! I cannot emphasize this enough!

This enlarged relationship with your children takes some of the “edge” off of spending so much time with them.

And when your entire family no longer revolves around constant transitions from being in “parent and child” mode to “released from parent and child” mode, your family can bond and become more cohesive.

How destructive is it for parents and children to constantly move between not having to “be” in the parent and child mode?

Do parents need breaks from their children? YES!

But these breaks do NOT need to be for 7 hours every day, 5 days each week, 180 days each year. That it too much, and it undermines the critical parent/child bond.

We have enough factors that are pulling parents and children apart. Education should NOT be one of those factors!

But what about cyber schooling as an option?

I often get the question, “What do you think about cyber schooling?”

For those who don’t know, most states have an option for public school students to learn at home via the internet. This is referred to as “cyber schooling,” and in many states (like my state of Pennsylvania), the school district pays for the tuition for the educational service being used. They also often pay for the computer, printer, and even INTERNET SERVICE that is required for cyber schooling.

To many, this option sounds ideal – the school district (meaning the tax payers) bear the brunt of the fiscal burden (although it DOES COST LESS to provide services via the internet than at brick-and-mortar schools), and the “experts” provide the educational curriculum. Furthermore, the students are accountable to the cyber school teachers, not “just” the parents. For some families, this makes it easier to entice students to do the work.

Sounds perfect, right?

Weeeellll, not so much….you see, students who cyber school are STILL PUBLIC SCHOOL STUDENTS. This means that the public school evaluates and “approves” of the curriculum before offering it to students.

Any statewide testing required by the Department of Education? Then your student must take the same tests that the brick-and-mortar students take, WHEN they take it, and WHERE they take it.

Because you and your child are accountable to the teacher through the cyber school, that teacher determines the degree of “learning” that happens. And this teacher issues deadlines and THEIR structure.

This doesn’t bother some families, as they LIKE having the external structure imposed on the family.

But this also means that your child MUST demonstrate mastery of topics before being allowed to progress. Sometimes the level of busy work is worse than in schools.

And YOU, as the parent, have little, or no, flexibility to change the topic, slow down, speed up, or discard information that you don’t think is as interesting/important/relevant as something else.

It is VERY hard for students to find time to pursue their own interests if those interests are not part of the “normal” curriculum.

MOST IMPORTANTLY from a “real life perspective:” cyber schools (in PA at least) have MUCH higher standards for their students than other students. The amount of work (useless and otherwise) is VERY high, and the parents are required for much of that time.

If you have only one child, it may not be a big deal. But to spend 4 hours with each child individually REALLY drains most homeschooling parents, and I see them burn out.

The really terrible part of this is that parents then are under the illusion that they “can’t” homeschool, they’ve tried and it just doesn’t work for them….

But the reality is that they never REALLY tried homeschooing and all of its flexibilities!

“True” homeschooling has much more prep time – the parent has to search for curriculum, purchase it, plus all the other “school” supplies.

But the payoff comes in the FREE time you end up with! YOU determine the schedule of the family, NOT the school.

To summarize: I do believe that cyber schools have their place in the world of home education. But having seen so many families burn out, and then think they aren’t ” built” for homeschooling is a BIG deficiency.

Nothing can EVER replace the family. We MUST resist attempts to break families apart.

How can we, as a community, claim to prioritize children when we are raised to believe that adults can’t wait until the children get out of their hair?

From a psychological point of view, the rates of depression and anxiety are sky rocketing – depression is at epidemic levels. And what do we do? Encourage families to fracture EVEN MORE.

The primary source of emotional stability and nourishment comes from the family (or, for believers, from God first, and the family second). How can we conceivably hope to produce resilient, strong individuals who can meet life’s demands when we remove them from the only place where they can hope to ever develop the fortitude required?

Families aren’t perfect – not by far. But schools CAN NEVER replace them. Despite their fallibility, the family is the source of our future.

There is NO WAY to replicate the family. Rather than tearing families apart, how about returning to structures that support good family functioning? Houses of worship are excellent examples of this sort of structure.

In addition to houses of worship, families can access information and support through therapists, books, classes, and workshops that teach parenting skills. Imagine if we put our focus on THOSE resources….the results could be astounding!

Since that won’t happen any time soon, the best option we have is to take matters into our own hands – bringing your children home, and organizing your household INCLUDE them and their needs, rather than how to organize your life AROUND them until they can be taken off of your hands…

Children should be folded into the family, not kept on the outskirts

I always feel so sad at this time of year.

All around me I hear parents who can’t wait for their kids to go back to school. Why are children something that parents only want to be around for just a short period of time?

What’s wrong with parents? Are children so separated from the daily lifestyle of a family that the interfere with the parents’ enjoyment of LIFE?

The best education children can have is to be FOLDED INTO the life of a family, to be functioning within the duties and responsibilities inherent in running a household and being a productive member of society.

Parents who don’t normally include their children into the REAL family life run out of ways to “entertain” their children. This sets up the expectation that children should be indulged and not a “true” part of a functioning household.

Do you run a home based business? Your children can watch you work and even help with admin duties as they get older. Then, as a teen, they can have a “micro business” like pet sitting or lawn mowing, learning the entrepreneurial spirit and earning money.

Responsibilities for pets, lawns, gardens, household plants, cleaning, doing dishes, cooking meals, etc teach great life lessons. These are all the duties that parents do, but we shelter our children from them.

Give them these responsibilities. MAKE them a part of the household, not just a tenant who stays there for restricted amounts of time, and flows in and out without a real sense of inclusion.

Glad your kids are going to school next week?